Thirty Two Reasons

The big three two.

It’s really not one of those big ones, but to me it’s a different one. Thanks to the quarantine, I have had a lot more time to think of things I might’ve taken for granted, or been too busy to appreciate. Like I said in my last post, it is so easy to get carried away in the everyday business and get lost in the chaos. 

In honor of my birthday, I thought it would be fun to write about 32 things that I am grateful for. 

So here we go:

God’s Grace, Love, Mercy and Forgiveness

A Life Without Jesus

My Trials and Tribulations

My Strength

Ability To See The Good Even in the Bad

*sigh* What would I do without Him? Remembering my “BC” (before Christ) life, sometimes brings me to tears. Sometimes happy tears and sometimes some very sad ones. Oftentimes, I think back and think “wow I survived” or “I did that”. I even have those breathtaking moments that I feel deep in my chest and think to myself “I can’t believe I went through that”. But it’s those very moments that just remind me how beautiful God’s grace, mercy and forgiveness is. That even when I felt I did not deserve it, he still showed up for me. He gave me the ability to see the good in every circumstance, even the heart breaking ones. And the strength to push through even when I didn’t think I have it in me. These are the reasons why I learned that life without Jesus is no life at all and for that I am eternally grateful.

My Dad and his health.

The past year and a half has not been the easiest for my family, as my dad’s health took a turn for the worst. Lots of sleepless nights filled with tears and worry. Today I am truly grateful that I was able to see him for at least 30 minutes and got to hug him and appreciate that he is still here with me to share another birthday. 

Family and Friends.

Because without them, who are we anyways?

My Safeguards

My support system, my back bone. There’s not much more I can say but I’d be here all day. Just know that I can’t do life without them.

My Beliefs

Knowing that God’s got me no matter what. And knowing that the positivity I put out in this universe will come back to me. 

My Job and My Boss

I know during these times, many are left without work. Even though I go into work everyday with fear because of this virus, I am so overly thankful that I can still go in. And to my boss, who is more than just that; oh what a beautiful soul. 

My Sense of Humor

Because I find everything funny… literally!

Pizza 

Because Pizza is life, duh! 

My Therapist

Honestly, I think everyone should have a therapist, it’s just good for the soul.

My Health. My Education. Gym. 

Makeup. Technology. 

Nature. Traveling. Music.

Memories. Sleep. 

Love. My Happiness. 

and Platform to Inspire Others!

There are so much more I am grateful for, I literally can go on and on.

 

So today I ask you: What are some things that you are grateful for and why? 

Sincerely,

Mila ♥♥

A Quarantined Birthday

Hi my friends! (writing that made me think of Carole Baskin – and if you don’t know the reference please go watch Tiger King on Netflix when you’re done reading lol) 

Anyways….. I AM BACK!!!! And it’s MY BIRTHDAY, I couldn’t think of a better day to come back to blogging then today! This birthday is a different one….. QUARANTINED? Never in my 32 years (yes I said 32! Still can’t believe I’m this old) did I imagine something like this. Where our new normals consist of wearing masks anywhere but our homes, not being able to see our friends and loved ones as we would like and living in fear. Although these times are so uncertain and devastating we have to make the best out of it. 

I am not going to lie, I fell into the “quarantine 15“. The beginning days were more of “buy and eat everything you see” and let me tell you, it’s not looking good for me lol. I think after today, I’m going to get back on my keto journey and try to not cave into the quarantine goodies, who’s with me? 

If I had it my way, I’d be on a beautiful international beach with 6 pack abs, a nice beverage and accompanied with close friends. But God had other plans and I am home relaxed on my recliner, watching my gate swing open and close as the wind blows by with no sunlight in sight; completely opposite of what I had envisioned today to be. 

To be honest, this is probably what I needed, sit and be present, and I think many of us needed this too. It is so important to be able to be present in the now. Life gets so busy that it is easy to get lost in the chaos. This is the time to call those old friends and catch up, declutter your closet and read those books that have been collecting dust on the bookshelf. Or pick up new hobbies like meditating, at home yoga or cooking. This is the “me time” that I always encourage my friends to give to themselves, because honestly we deserve it. Granted, this “me time” seems somewhat never ending, but there is good in everything, we just need to find it. Don’t marinate in the worry or the stress of this pandemic, but enjoy the time we get to spend home relaxing and working on ourselves. 

As for me and my birthday, this will definitely be one to remember. Not only because it is a quarantined birthday, but because I was reminded of the amazing people I call friends, who have been so creative in making me feel special on this day since celebrating in person is not an option. 

So today I ask you: Stay safe, stay positive and stay home!

Sincerely,

Mila ♥♥

 

A Minute

Hello.

So it’s been almost 3 months. I’m sorry.

I let my circumstances get the best of me. And as I tried to control them, in the end, it controlled me.

My plate was full, and I felt like I just couldn’t breathe. Literally. (thank you anxiety)

If you follow me on Instagram, then you know my last post was reminding everyone to breathe. No matter the circumstances, just breathe. At that point anxiety not only got the best of me mentally but physically too. 

And then… I just shut down.

A part of me feels like I failed some of you.
I get so many messages of how motivating my posts are, how my love for God is so motivating, how my positiveness brings light in to their darkness.

But I just needed a minute.

A minute to breathe. A minute to understand. A minute to pick up the pieces.

Tonight as I prayed. I just kept asking, “why did l let it beat me?”.

I knew that there was a God bigger than my fears, bigger than my circumstances. Deep down, I knew that everything would be okay. But yet, I still let my anxiety win. I still allowed myself to feel defeated knowing God’s truth.

And although I don’t have the answer as to why and how did I allow myself to get so lost in the defeat. I can tell you that He will find you just where you are, even when you yourself don’t even know where you lost yourself. And He will pick up every single shattered piece and put you back together.

See there is no perfect walk with God. Sometimes we just lose ourselves. Sometimes we feel discouraged. Sometimes we let life’s circumstance take our breath away. But the best part of having Him as the center of our world, is that in midst of the battle we remember His promises and hold tight to that.

So today I ask you: to just take a minute to BREATHE and PRAY. Hold tight to the fact that GOD’S GOT YOU no matter the circumstance!

Sincerely,

Mila ♥♥

Defender – Steffany Gretzinger | Bethel Music Worship

Distracted

It’s been a minute, I know. Strangely enough I’ve semi written three different post(s), but never finished them. By the end of this post, you may understand why.

About two weeks ago, I was feeling so uneasy. Something wasn’t right. I got up, put on some worship music and had a serious talk with God. In the midst of my tears I heard him tell me:

“YOU’RE DISTRACTED”

I can’t even begin to explain the guilt, the sadness, the shame this brought me. Because it’s TRUE! I’ve been on this race track, with different types of pit stops. For the moment, it all felt fun. I felt alive, adventurous, motivated. But the truth is, I kept making the wrong pit stops or at least they feel like the wrong pit stops. Because aren’t pit stops created to fix the issue in order to continue the race? So why didn’t I feel good enough to finish the race?

Here’s why. Those fixes were temporary fixes and not surrounded on God and His word. None of those pit stops were to check in with Him. And that’s where I went wrong.

I forgot to check in with the One in control of the race.

It’s so easy to get caught up in the high of the race that we forget. We lose sight. We become DISTRACTED! For me, checking in with God keeps me grounded, keeps me true to who I am. Without God at my center, I somehow feel like I lose control. I lose who I am.

But we serve such a forgiving and understanding God. That is the beauty of His grace. That somehow someway, in the midst of the race he flags us down. We don’t need to start the race over, but just allow him to coach us through. That is where you’ll see victory!

So today I ask you: What is distracting you from checking in with God?

Sincerely,

Mila ♥♥

song that I’m loving during this race:

Hillsong – As You Find Me

Owning My Joy

Hello March!

We made it! I don’t know about you guys but getting to March is like a breath of fresh air. January was tough and long. February came and left so quickly I don’t even remember having a moment to breathe.

In my last post, I had shared that I was in this uncomfortable weird unknown place. Man does the enemy try harder when he sees us drawing closer to God. I all of a sudden found myself surrounded by darkness. I had decided to write about it, but immediately after I was done I realized I was writing from a place of anger. I still needed time. Time to feel it, time to process, time to heal, time to find peace.

Because it felt H E A V Y.

Normally your first reaction is you dwell on it and let other people’s reality become your truth. So when they’re angry, you find yourself angry. When they’re bitter and upset about their own life, you find yourself bitter and upset about yours. These emotions are contagious, and we let people infect us. Sometimes people can be nasty, downright evil. Heartless. When people do not have God, they don’t know love. They don’t have compassion. They can even be jealous of the favor of God in your life.

They will operate in hate, because they don’t know love.

They’ll try to force feed you a bitter spoonful. And sometimes we’ll eat it because we think we have to tolerate it, as if we have to show them how strong we are and how tough we can be. But in doing so we only harm ourselves. You don’t have to hold on to everything that people throw at you. You are not who they say you are. And their words are just a reflection of what they think about themselves. And a lot of times people will want to project their insecurities onto you and make you question yourself.

And for a moment I did.

For a moment I believed what they were saying. I allowed them to get in my head and I questioned my purpose. The only reason I didn’t succumb to the things that were being thrown at me was because I managed to maintain a foundation of truth. My foundation is based on God, but God is spiritual and we live in the flesh. Its a constant battle to concentrate solely on the spirit. You need to have safeguards to remind yourself of God’s truth. My safeguards are my amazing friends. Friends that take you out of those places of darkness. Friends that tell you to stop crying, don’t stay home alone or just remind you that the offenses are just distractions from the enemy and to own your joy (thanks Tatu).

I’ve learned that this journey is long. It’s not a sprint, it’s a marathon. And in marathons there are pit stops. There are mile markers that tell you, there’s still a long way to go. But they also tell you how far you’ve gone. Remind you how far you’re going and how far God has taken you. And he’s brought you this far, he’s sure to see you through to the next marker.

And when you can’t see Gods purpose, ask for his strength. The beautiful thing about Christ is that in our weakest of times, He is the very thing that sustains us. It’s okay to call out to God. I think situations are presented to us just to remind us to call out to him. In the same way, it’s through trials that you’ll find out who is supportive and who wants to see you fall. Its through the fire that relationships are built or they crumble. It’s in the middle where you find out what routines you need to put in place and what you have to let go of.

So today I ask you: Who are you running with? What are your safeguards? How do you feed your spirit?

Sincerely,

Mila ♥♥

 

a song that got me through these past few weeks:

The Fathers Song – Upperroom

(thank you Rachel!)

Forgiveness is FREEDOM!

Since the moment I opened this blog I’ve gone back and forth on what should be my very first post. So many things to talk about, so many thoughts and emotions and messages I want to get out, but I just didn’t know where to start.

Today, in a random conversation during my lunch I was asked, “how do you smile and are so happy all the time even after going through so much?” following that I was asked “how were you able to forgive and are okay?”. When I tell you that I felt this question so deep in my heart. It is one of my biggest struggles in my spiritual journey. It sat with me all day and it just hit me. This is it! Why not start a series with what to this day, is my biggest struggle: FORGIVENESS!

Let’s start with the basics: what is forgiveness? For me, it’s letting go and letting God. To forgive is to understand that things happen, and it sometimes hurts like crazy but we must let go even when it hurts. We have to forgive to free ourselves from the pain, the hurt, the resentment, the vengeance that we’re holding on to. Forgiveness is FREEDOM!  

Ironically enough, one year ago today I forgave someone who played a huge role in my story that I never thought I’d let go. I’ll share more about that later, for now lets visit that very moment in time where I felt so much hate and anger.

I use to pray to God to take the pain away, free me from the hate that I had in my heart for this person. Even though there were moments I thought I had let it go, I never truly did. This weighed heavy for 5 years. Yes, FIVE WHOLE YEARS! But why? Did I completely give it to God? Did I trust Him enough to know that the pain I felt was for a greater purpose? Did I accept why that had to happen to me? The answer is NO! I chose to be chained in my own pain. I chose to carry hurt and sadness instead of giving it to God and allowing him to free me from it.

A lot of times we hold on to this hurt not knowing that this is keeping us from our blessing. We choose to marinate in the pain, instead of marinating in God’s presence and allowing him to free us. When you experience God’s love, you experience peace. And with peace comes freedom.

The reason I am able to forgive today and be okay, is because I experienced God’s love and the peace that it brought over my life. It helped me understand that He allowed certain things to happen to me, even though it tore me apart, all for a greater purpose. Knowing that, brings me peace and freedom even after heartache.

So today I ask you: What does forgiveness mean to you?

Sincerely,

Mila ♥♥