Distracted

It’s been a minute, I know. Strangely enough I’ve semi written three different post(s), but never finished them. By the end of this post, you may understand why.

About two weeks ago, I was feeling so uneasy. Something wasn’t right. I got up, put on some worship music and had a serious talk with God. In the midst of my tears I heard him tell me:

“YOU’RE DISTRACTED”

I can’t even begin to explain the guilt, the sadness, the shame this brought me. Because it’s TRUE! I’ve been on this race track, with different types of pit stops. For the moment, it all felt fun. I felt alive, adventurous, motivated. But the truth is, I kept making the wrong pit stops or at least they feel like the wrong pit stops. Because aren’t pit stops created to fix the issue in order to continue the race? So why didn’t I feel good enough to finish the race?

Here’s why. Those fixes were temporary fixes and not surrounded on God and His word. None of those pit stops were to check in with Him. And that’s where I went wrong.

I forgot to check in with the One in control of the race.

It’s so easy to get caught up in the high of the race that we forget. We lose sight. We become DISTRACTED! For me, checking in with God keeps me grounded, keeps me true to who I am. Without God at my center, I somehow feel like I lose control. I lose who I am.

But we serve such a forgiving and understanding God. That is the beauty of His grace. That somehow someway, in the midst of the race he flags us down. We don’t need to start the race over, but just allow him to coach us through. That is where you’ll see victory!

So today I ask you: What is distracting you from checking in with God?

Sincerely,

Mila ♥♥

song that I’m loving during this race:

Hillsong – As You Find Me

Owning My Joy

Hello March!

We made it! I don’t know about you guys but getting to March is like a breath of fresh air. January was tough and long. February came and left so quickly I don’t even remember having a moment to breathe.

In my last post, I had shared that I was in this uncomfortable weird unknown place. Man does the enemy try harder when he sees us drawing closer to God. I all of a sudden found myself surrounded by darkness. I had decided to write about it, but immediately after I was done I realized I was writing from a place of anger. I still needed time. Time to feel it, time to process, time to heal, time to find peace.

Because it felt H E A V Y.

Normally your first reaction is you dwell on it and let other people’s reality become your truth. So when they’re angry, you find yourself angry. When they’re bitter and upset about their own life, you find yourself bitter and upset about yours. These emotions are contagious, and we let people infect us. Sometimes people can be nasty, downright evil. Heartless. When people do not have God, they don’t know love. They don’t have compassion. They can even be jealous of the favor of God in your life.

They will operate in hate, because they don’t know love.

They’ll try to force feed you a bitter spoonful. And sometimes we’ll eat it because we think we have to tolerate it, as if we have to show them how strong we are and how tough we can be. But in doing so we only harm ourselves. You don’t have to hold on to everything that people throw at you. You are not who they say you are. And their words are just a reflection of what they think about themselves. And a lot of times people will want to project their insecurities onto you and make you question yourself.

And for a moment I did.

For a moment I believed what they were saying. I allowed them to get in my head and I questioned my purpose. The only reason I didn’t succumb to the things that were being thrown at me was because I managed to maintain a foundation of truth. My foundation is based on God, but God is spiritual and we live in the flesh. Its a constant battle to concentrate solely on the spirit. You need to have safeguards to remind yourself of God’s truth. My safeguards are my amazing friends. Friends that take you out of those places of darkness. Friends that tell you to stop crying, don’t stay home alone or just remind you that the offenses are just distractions from the enemy and to own your joy (thanks Tatu).

I’ve learned that this journey is long. It’s not a sprint, it’s a marathon. And in marathons there are pit stops. There are mile markers that tell you, there’s still a long way to go. But they also tell you how far you’ve gone. Remind you how far you’re going and how far God has taken you. And he’s brought you this far, he’s sure to see you through to the next marker.

And when you can’t see Gods purpose, ask for his strength. The beautiful thing about Christ is that in our weakest of times, He is the very thing that sustains us. It’s okay to call out to God. I think situations are presented to us just to remind us to call out to him. In the same way, it’s through trials that you’ll find out who is supportive and who wants to see you fall. Its through the fire that relationships are built or they crumble. It’s in the middle where you find out what routines you need to put in place and what you have to let go of.

So today I ask you: Who are you running with? What are your safeguards? How do you feed your spirit?

Sincerely,

Mila ♥♥

 

a song that got me through these past few weeks:

The Fathers Song – Upperroom

(thank you Rachel!)

Forgiveness is FREEDOM!

Since the moment I opened this blog I’ve gone back and forth on what should be my very first post. So many things to talk about, so many thoughts and emotions and messages I want to get out, but I just didn’t know where to start.

Today, in a random conversation during my lunch I was asked, “how do you smile and are so happy all the time even after going through so much?” following that I was asked “how were you able to forgive and are okay?”. When I tell you that I felt this question so deep in my heart. It is one of my biggest struggles in my spiritual journey. It sat with me all day and it just hit me. This is it! Why not start a series with what to this day, is my biggest struggle: FORGIVENESS!

Let’s start with the basics: what is forgiveness? For me, it’s letting go and letting God. To forgive is to understand that things happen, and it sometimes hurts like crazy but we must let go even when it hurts. We have to forgive to free ourselves from the pain, the hurt, the resentment, the vengeance that we’re holding on to. Forgiveness is FREEDOM!  

Ironically enough, one year ago today I forgave someone who played a huge role in my story that I never thought I’d let go. I’ll share more about that later, for now lets visit that very moment in time where I felt so much hate and anger.

I use to pray to God to take the pain away, free me from the hate that I had in my heart for this person. Even though there were moments I thought I had let it go, I never truly did. This weighed heavy for 5 years. Yes, FIVE WHOLE YEARS! But why? Did I completely give it to God? Did I trust Him enough to know that the pain I felt was for a greater purpose? Did I accept why that had to happen to me? The answer is NO! I chose to be chained in my own pain. I chose to carry hurt and sadness instead of giving it to God and allowing him to free me from it.

A lot of times we hold on to this hurt not knowing that this is keeping us from our blessing. We choose to marinate in the pain, instead of marinating in God’s presence and allowing him to free us. When you experience God’s love, you experience peace. And with peace comes freedom.

The reason I am able to forgive today and be okay, is because I experienced God’s love and the peace that it brought over my life. It helped me understand that He allowed certain things to happen to me, even though it tore me apart, all for a greater purpose. Knowing that, brings me peace and freedom even after heartache.

So today I ask you: What does forgiveness mean to you?

Sincerely,

Mila ♥♥