A Quarantined Birthday

Hi my friends! (writing that made me think of Carole Baskin – and if you don’t know the reference please go watch Tiger King on Netflix when you’re done reading lol) 

Anyways….. I AM BACK!!!! And it’s MY BIRTHDAY, I couldn’t think of a better day to come back to blogging then today! This birthday is a different one….. QUARANTINED? Never in my 32 years (yes I said 32! Still can’t believe I’m this old) did I imagine something like this. Where our new normals consist of wearing masks anywhere but our homes, not being able to see our friends and loved ones as we would like and living in fear. Although these times are so uncertain and devastating we have to make the best out of it. 

I am not going to lie, I fell into the “quarantine 15“. The beginning days were more of “buy and eat everything you see” and let me tell you, it’s not looking good for me lol. I think after today, I’m going to get back on my keto journey and try to not cave into the quarantine goodies, who’s with me? 

If I had it my way, I’d be on a beautiful international beach with 6 pack abs, a nice beverage and accompanied with close friends. But God had other plans and I am home relaxed on my recliner, watching my gate swing open and close as the wind blows by with no sunlight in sight; completely opposite of what I had envisioned today to be. 

To be honest, this is probably what I needed, sit and be present, and I think many of us needed this too. It is so important to be able to be present in the now. Life gets so busy that it is easy to get lost in the chaos. This is the time to call those old friends and catch up, declutter your closet and read those books that have been collecting dust on the bookshelf. Or pick up new hobbies like meditating, at home yoga or cooking. This is the “me time” that I always encourage my friends to give to themselves, because honestly we deserve it. Granted, this “me time” seems somewhat never ending, but there is good in everything, we just need to find it. Don’t marinate in the worry or the stress of this pandemic, but enjoy the time we get to spend home relaxing and working on ourselves. 

As for me and my birthday, this will definitely be one to remember. Not only because it is a quarantined birthday, but because I was reminded of the amazing people I call friends, who have been so creative in making me feel special on this day since celebrating in person is not an option. 

So today I ask you: Stay safe, stay positive and stay home!

Sincerely,

Mila ♥♥

 

Forgiveness is Starting Over

Why do we choose to not forgive others? Is it because we didn’t get an apology we think we deserved? Or we didn’t get an acknowledgement of the wrong doing? Or even worst, we didn’t get to hurt them like they hurt us?

I’m sure every person and every situation will give me a different answer.

As I’ve said before, forgiveness is one of my biggest battles in my spiritual journey. I find myself having talks with God like:

“but God they lied on me”

“but God they broke my heart”

“but God they betrayed me”

“but God they chose someone else, over me”

“but God they’re so fake”

“but God they’re bad people”

There is always a “BUT” trying to justify why I choose not to hand it over to God. Sometimes I wonder do I hold on because it’s all I have left? Or maybe because I’m afraid to start over.

As I’m writing this, I’m reflecting on the person I spoke about in my last post. I lost an important person in my life. I lost a partner and the family that we were going to become. The pain and the hurt is all I had left of that picture of “us” I had in my head. I wanted it to go back to how it was so bad, how I thought it was supposed to be. And because that could no longer happen, I chose to hold on to the pain it brought me because it’s all I had left of what was.

I knew deep down that with forgiveness came a big responsibility. It meant letting go and starting over. It meant going back to the basics and rebuilding my foundation, a new foundation.

And what a scary feeling that was.

It’s scary because we have to look in the mirror and at the end of the day we can’t blame other people. The only person you can really blame is yourself. Because we put our trust in people and putting trust in people is like building a sand castle. And when the storm comes, and the rain falls, our castle follows, because our trust was put in people to uphold us but they let us down.

So, you’re wondering what do I do with these pieces? What do I do with this regret? What do I do with this anger? What do I do with this pain? But a clean slate is the best place to start. 

And when you think you have nothing is when you can find your everything in God.

Because God can’t put something new inside of you with the old foundations that you had. In order for God to do something new he has to clear the ground.

So your tears have softened the soil. And now you can build a new foundation on what he says about you, his promises and his protection. Something that is sure from on high and not from man that’ll let you down.

It’s a new season and the work has not all been for nothing. There is a harvest and you will reap what you have sown. Bear fruit.

So today I ask you: Ask God for forgiveness for trying to build a foundation without him. And then recognize that you are forgiven, so you can start over and forgive.

Sincerely,

Mila ♥♥

See:

Build Your House on the Rock: Matthew 7:24-27

New Wine into Old Wineskins: Luke 5:36-39