We made it! I don’t know about you guys but getting to March is like a breath of fresh air. January was tough and long. February came and left so quickly I don’t even remember having a moment to breathe.
In my last post, I had shared that I was in this uncomfortable weird unknown place. Man does the enemy try harder when he sees us drawing closer to God. I all of a sudden found myself surrounded by darkness. I had decided to write about it, but immediately after I was done I realized I was writing from a place of anger. I still needed time. Time to feel it, time to process, time to heal, time to find peace.
Because it felt H E A V Y.
Normally your first reaction is you dwell on it and let other people’s reality become your truth. So when they’re angry, you find yourself angry. When they’re bitter and upset about their own life, you find yourself bitter and upset about yours. These emotions are contagious, and we let people infect us. Sometimes people can be nasty, downright evil. Heartless. When people do not have God, they don’t know love. They don’t have compassion. They can even be jealous of the favor of God in your life.
They will operate in hate, because they don’t know love.
They’ll try to force feed you a bitter spoonful. And sometimes we’ll eat it because we think we have to tolerate it, as if we have to show them how strong we are and how tough we can be. But in doing so we only harm ourselves. You don’t have to hold on to everything that people throw at you. You are not who they say you are. And their words are just a reflection of what they think about themselves. And a lot of times people will want to project their insecurities onto you and make you question yourself.
And for a moment I did.
For a moment I believed what they were saying. I allowed them to get in my head and I questioned my purpose. The only reason I didn’t succumb to the things that were being thrown at me was because I managed to maintain a foundation of truth. My foundation is based on God, but God is spiritual and we live in the flesh. Its a constant battle to concentrate solely on the spirit. You need to have safeguards to remind yourself of God’s truth. My safeguards are my amazing friends. Friends that take you out of those places of darkness. Friends that tell you to stop crying, don’t stay home alone or just remind you that the offenses are just distractions from the enemy and to own your joy (thanks Tatu).
I’ve learned that this journey is long. It’s not a sprint, it’s a marathon. And in marathons there are pit stops. There are mile markers that tell you, there’s still a long way to go. But they also tell you how far you’ve gone. Remind you how far you’re going and how far God has taken you. And he’s brought you this far, he’s sure to see you through to the next marker.
And when you can’t see Gods purpose, ask for his strength. The beautiful thing about Christ is that in our weakest of times, He is the very thing that sustains us. It’s okay to call out to God. I think situations are presented to us just to remind us to call out to him. In the same way, it’s through trials that you’ll find out who is supportive and who wants to see you fall. Its through the fire that relationships are built or they crumble. It’s in the middle where you find out what routines you need to put in place and what you have to let go of.
So today I ask you: Who are you running with? What are your safeguards? How do you feed your spirit?
a song that got me through these past few weeks:
The Fathers Song – Upperroom
(thank you Rachel!)